What does a name mean? By any other name, what we call a massive, multi-limbed sand lizard would punch just as hard. If he weren’t already known as a big desert lizard with several limbs, he would still hold onto the strength he is due. Shakespeare presumably said this after watching “The Book of Boba Fett” for the first time.
Many of the characters in the “Star Wars” universes have names that are so absurd that they make WASPy mothers who choose children’s names using leftover Scrabble tiles, such “Reighfyl” (pronounced like “Rifle,” of course), look dull and rational. The same series that gave us characters like “Therm Scissorpunch,” “Biggs Darklighter,” “Jek Porkins,” Salacious B. Crumb,” “Dud Bolt,” and my personal favourite, “Elan Sel’Sabagno” aka “Elan Sleazebaganno” is also the home of all-time greats like “Luke Skywalker” and “Padm Amidala.”
We were exposed to a new monster from the deserts of Tatooine in the first episode of “The Book of Boba Fett,” but the creature’s name has not yet been revealed. Without a name, this terrifying creature will undoubtedly wind up suffering the same fate as Grogu, who will be referred to as “Baby Yoda” until the day he passes away. We just cannot allow this to happen. Or even worse, because my parents didn’t think things through, he’ll end up like me, a female named “BJ,” which is bad. Thankfully, the amazing staff at /Film has done the research and generated our own list of possible names for the beast. Just to be clear, these are the OFFICIAL choices up until Lucasfilm announces a name.
The Official and 100% Only Possible Name Options For The Giant Sand Monster
We’ll start off with the straightforward recommendations of “Steve the Sand Monster” or “The Tatooine Titan,” because classics are always a good idea. We couldn’t help but notice the monster’s four arms reminded us of a particular Mortal Kombat character, so why not call it out and rename it “Gritty Goro”? We might also pay homage to the man who played Xerxes in “300: Rise of An Empire,” another villain from the sand lands, and rename the monster “Rodrigo Sand-toro,” since it is a fearsome evil from the sands. Who could dispute the strength and effect of a strong name like “Carlos Sandtana”? Okay, okay, I see that the reference might be a bit of a stretch and that we should think more obviously. Nobody, to be precise.
It’s possible that this beast wasn’t trying to harm anyone and was simply trying to survive. In that situation, we also have names like “Adam Sand-ler” or “Sandra Dee,” which seem a little kinder. For me, “Sandra Elizabeth Sand Liz for Short” is a favourite because it challenges the notion that the monster is a man. Whole civilizations can be terrorised by women too! The name “Sandy Dufresne” is also a contender because the monster creeps out of the sand appearing to be fleeing from something. The enormous boom that emanated from its mouth was arguably most astonishing, so “Sand Malone” and “Desert Lovato” are excellent ways to recognise the creature’s vocal prowess.
Prepare yourself for the real contenders because three names stand out above the rest. “Desert Arnaz,” “Whoa Black Betty,” and “Sandy Patinkin.” We are not to be thanked, Lucasfilm. Give our people a call and have yours.